Yours to Keep
by Ksue
Summary: Ever since Sasha gave Payson his medal, it's been hers to keep. Post-Hungary Heart.


**A/N: This one-shot is dedicated to AngelWings8, who waited SO patiently for it. I'm not entirely happy with it, but I figure I've kept her waiting long enough. :) Review please! And, if you haven't checked out Chapter 4 of "When Your Heart Wears Thin"...do it! It's a really good one, I promise.**

Sasha had been back in Boulder for almost a week, and Payson could count on one hand the number of times he'd spoken to her. It hurt, almost more than having him gone had. They had grown so close during her recovery, she counted him more than just a coach and a friend…he was her other half in the purest and most innocent sense. They were two sides of the same coin, so similar in almost every way.

She knew that if she spoke those feelings out loud, she might as well confirm what everyone (Lauren) was saying about her and Sasha, but none of them understood. Were her feelings towards Sasha romantic? Sure, but she was a sixteen year old, heterosexual female and Sasha was a very, very good looking man. She'd be crazy not to be attracted to him. But it was also so much deeper than that, and to have someone she felt that way about stop talking to her? It was excruciating.

"Payson?" She stopped her movements on the beam and looked towards the office. Sasha was standing there, waiting for her.

"Yeah?"

"Can I speak to you a moment?" Sasha asked. Payson jumped down from the beam, her heart hammering in her chest, and crossed quickly to the office.

Sasha followed her in and shut the door behind him, closing off their conversation from everyone else. She could almost hear the other gymnasts stop working and start whispering, but she pushed it out of her head. They didn't know anything.

"What's up, Sasha?" Payson asked, wary. Sasha leaned against the outside edge of his desk so that there was no furniture standing between them, and Payson instinctively took a step closer.

"Did you mean what you said in Romania, when you gave me back the medal, or were you just trying to get to me?" Sasha asked, staring at her with that intense gaze that made her shiver. Payson frowned.

"I meant every word of it, Sasha."

"You really think I was a coward? That I left for my own selfish reasons instead of selfless ones?" Sasha pressed. Payson blew out a breath and shook her head.

"Yes, I do."

"How can you…"

"Because it's true!" Payson exploded. "You did not leave for my own good. I'm not stupid, Sasha."

"I was doing you more harm than good," Sasha insisted. Payson snorted.

"Don't overestimate your influence, Sasha," she snapped. Immediately, she regretted it. First of all, that was a lie; Sasha was one of the most important people in her life. Second, she wasn't sure she'd ever seen Sasha look as hurt as he did as soon as those words left her mouth. "I'm sorry."

"No, if you mean it, you should say it," he choked out. Payson growled in frustration.

"You don't get it, do you? I'm lashing out at you, trying to hurt you as badly as you hurt me. You are more important to me than you can ever know, and I'm pissed as hell that you left. You can't just come back and expect me to not be angry anymore."

"Why?" Sasha asked pleadingly. Payson couldn't help but laugh, an exasperated sound, and throw her hands in the air. For such a brilliant man, he could be so dense.

"Tell me why you really left, and I promise I won't be angry anymore," Payson demanded, changing tracks. Sasha looked at her, his eyes wide. Payson just stared at him.

"You know why…"

"It's crap. It's what you tell yourself to justify leaving because you have no good reason," Payson explained. She saw fire flicker in Sasha's eyes and his fingers tighten against the edge of the desk. He pushed away from the desk and stalked slowly towards her, covering the space in just two steps. Payson tore her gaze from his and glanced out onto the floor to make sure no one was watching. The way they were situated, none of the gymnasts could see them.

"You're right," Sasha growled. "It is crap, but I still had a good reason; I left because you scare me, Payson Keeler. With you, the line between gymnast and lover is so blurred I'm not even sure I can see it anymore. But you're sixteen, and I'm not, and we can't do anything about the way we feel until after 2012."

Payson's throat was thick, keeping her from speaking. That was a good thing, she guessed, because she had no idea what to say. Sasha had fought acknowledging their relationship from the start, and now he was telling her he wanted her…after the Olympics. What was she supposed to say to that?

Sasha didn't give her a chance to respond. Instead he backed away and reached into one of the desk drawers. Payson recognized the red ribbon peeking out from his closed fist immediately. Sasha reached for her hand and turned it over before pressing the medal into her palm and closing her fingers around it. He held her closed fist between his hands for a long moment and Payson realized it was the first time he'd touched her since he came back.

"I want you to keep this. Keep it as a reminder that I believe so fully in you that I came all the way back from Romania, and a reminder that we have a bond, Payson. A bond that can't ever be broken. Keep it, and remember that…I love you."

Payson felt like her heart stopped. Not only had he told her he wanted to be with her, he told her he loved her, and she knew that was not easy for him after the debacles with MJ and Summer. She was at a complete loss for words.

She reacted in the only way she could think of. She kept the medal clutched in her hand and placed it over his heart. Then she reached up with her free hand and brushed her fingertips over his cheek before threading her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and pulling his face towards hers.

The kiss was a lot like the first she'd planted on him, but also completely different. This time, she went in slowly, giving him time to object. Their closed lips pressed together in the same way, but this time Sasha kissed back instead of pushing her away. It was a short kiss, so achingly sweet it made tears well in Payson's eyes, but it said more than any other physical touch they'd ever shared. It was the sealing of a bond, a promise to each other.

A promise they both intended to keep.


End file.
